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jmunky [2018] FILM


The Bunker [1981] * * * *


Apparently Adolf had super chronic constipation interrupted only by uncontrollable flatulence. That explains a lot.




Biscoito18 [2018] FILM


Slender Man [2018] *


So many mistakes... Where do I start?

I'll start with what I didn't see.

Several scenes in the trailer were cut out from the film. The excuse is always the same: to earn a lower rating and make more money. Who cares about the quality of the final product or deliver what was promised by the trailer?

Some cuts were noticeable, like in the biology class scene that doesn't make much sense without the part that was cut out. And that also hurt the character Chloe (Jaz Sinclair) who simply disappears from the movie.

Unfortunately, after the cuts in "The Meg" and here, it looks like the next to be butchered will be "Venom". Sad but I'm not surprised by this lack of sense and courage, even after the success of "Deadpool" and other R-rated popular films. As Judge Judy would say, "... dumb is forever."

Speaking of dumb, the characters in this movie go beyond all acceptable limits of stupidity. No matter how much a rule is clarified, they'll always do exactly the opposite.

Some people say that without characters making stupid choices there's no horror movie. I disagree.

This approach is so frustrating because it distances the audience from the characters who make gross mistakes, and the plot ends up becoming more distant from the reality (from the logic), and with it, less frightening.

It's so good when we follow an intelligent character, who rationalizes in a logical and practical way (example: Ben in "Night of the Living Dead").

"Slender Man" knows how to create a decent anticipation before the scare, but it misses every time in the finalization. There simply is no climax!

Failures like this make us realize that doing an effective and simple jumpscare, like in James Wan films for example, is something more complicated than you might think.

Other notes:

- This is Joey King's second failed attempt at starring a horror movie after the success of "The Conjuring". A previous film, "Wish Upon", was also a critical failure. Unfortunately her face is becoming synonymous with bad and cheap horror movie, just like Bella Thorne.

- An ocean of clichés (alcoholic father and rebellious daughter, quick google search and trip to library to lend credibility to the plot, bedroom walls covered with creepy drawings, drafts, newspaper articles as a messy collage representing a person's mental confusion...).

- The ending tries to shock but it's already too late to create or require emotional ties with such incompetent characters.

In the end, I think the worst mistake of "Slender Man" is in the treatment given to its creature. In addition to the fact that the Slender Man myth has already passed its fifteen minutes of fame, the common mythology developed by the film doesn't create any characteristic that could distinguish this creature from any other cheap monster who possesses the skills that the plot demands at that moment and acts without much sense in its purpose and in its modus operandi. The dated CGI also doesn't help.

Creature/monster horror movies should aim at creating icons that help define a generation and stay in the fans' memories forever. "Slender Man" does exactly the opposite by turning a consolidated icon into something banal and forgettable. And, as a horror fan, this is unforgivable.




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